I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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