totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I would ride that face into the sunset
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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