Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
