I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize