Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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