do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
