She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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