i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
