tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
