You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
