When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
