Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
