I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
