so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
