Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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