And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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