i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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