Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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