help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
