Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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