grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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