dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
