He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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