yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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