So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
