did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
