Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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