her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
