its not stalking. its research.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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