garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
