I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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