is your mom at the bar?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
