Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
