she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
