Your face is a jimmy john
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize