Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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