I just saw a hot homeless man
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
