Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
