why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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