He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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