No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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