Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
