mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
organizing the empties. That sober.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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