love makes seman taste better
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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