What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just sent this text using only my big toe
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
