This is not my ceiling
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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