I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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