She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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