i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
