its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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