Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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