I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize