i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
