wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
