You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
