words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
