I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Your penis caused this!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
