No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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