i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
