There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
