Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
