I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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