is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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