Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
