I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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