dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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