walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
