well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
