He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
